Happy Valentine’s Day; Breakup Night at KGB

Dateless this V-Day? Don’t sweat it, you’re actually not alone. As last week’s post on the subject of Valentine’s Day explained, even the single can survive February 14^th through the company of the right book. So drop that heart-shaped box of chocolates, cancel those flowers you had sent to yourself, and visit your local library or bookstore. Maybe you’ll even meet the book nerd of your dreams browsing the stacks.

Even if finding true love on Valentine’s Day it isn’t that simple, reading the right book can still help mitigate the loneliness of a partnerless holiday. If this year’s festivities find you celebrating solo, we have the perfect literary antidote to your dateless day of solitude—the new paperback edition of It’s Not You, It’s Me: The Poetry of Breakup, edited and introduced by Jerry Williams.

Last February Jerry was generous enough to stop by the blog to share an anti-anti-Valentine’s Day poem titled “Bed, Bath, and Beyond,” and this year he returns again (in video form) along with It’s Not You contributors Beth Gylys, Ravi Shankar, and Donna Masini, who all shared the stage during last week’s Breakup Night at KGB. If you skipped the reading you missed a boozy evening of heartrending verse performed by the industry’s most seasoned and humorous veterans of heartache, but thanks to the magic of Youtube, you can still enjoy them here today. Check out the videos below!

Jerry Williams opened the night with a reading of his poem, “Exegisis of a Hard Case”, exploring the grief regimen entailed by the four breakups that nearly killed him. Don’t know what a reverse cuckold is? We recommend you google it (potentially NSFW).

Beth Gylys, who is a professor at Georgia State University and the award winning author of two collections of poetry, as well as two chapbooks shared “Song of an X” and “Through the Glass,” both included in It’s Not You, It’s Me.

Ravi Shankar (no relation) followed up with a series of poems that hued closely to the night’s theme of harrowing breakup, including “Double Rainbow” (related), “Curacao,” and “Surface Tension.”

The night’s final reader, Donna Masini, began her set with a reading of Elizabeth Bishop’s “One Art,” in commemoration of the poet’s birthday, before plunging into her It’s Not You contributions, “Slowly” and “Longing.”

A Very Jerry Williams Valentine's Day

We've got a special Valentine-y guest post today from Jerry Williams, who edited (and wrote the introduction for!) IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME: THE POETRY OF BREAKUP. If you're looking for a fun activity for this evening that won't involve underwhelming prix-fixe menus and "he went to Jared," stop by KGB Bar (85 E. 4th St., NYC) at 7 p.m. to hear Jerry (with Donna Masini, David Lehman, and Kenneth Hart) wax poetic. Hope to see you there!

Happy Valentines Day, everyone. I was thinking about calling the internet to find out where the apostrophe goes in Valentines, but I’m going to restrain myself. That’s not to say the apostrophe isn’t an incredible piece of punctuation, especially on V-Day, although it does imply possession—e.g. Tim’s television, Shelby’s apartment, Jerry’s old typewriter. No one should own anyone in a relationship. Yes, this seems like a pretty obvious directive, but who among us has not witnessed instances of what I call Interpersonal Colonization: one person lording it over another for reasons known only to the couple? I’ve been waiting years to use this terminology, but I could never find the context—until now, as they say in movie trailers and infomercials. That said, tonight you should attend an anti-V-Day poetry reading triggered by my anthology, It’s Not You, It’s Me: The Poetry of Breakup, featuring David Lehman, Donna Masini, Kenneth Hart, and yours truly. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Yours truly. Who says that? Anyway, the reading is at KGB Bar at 85 E. 4th Street at 7 p.m. Since you’ll probably hear a lot of very negative material about romantic love, I thought I would offer up an Anti-Anti Saint Valentine’s Day (I looked it up) poem that I wrote a couple years ago. Up to that point, rest assured, I was just like you, suffering through one relationship debacle after another—boom! boom! boom! like a relationship blitzkrieg. So here’s that poem. For my wife, Shelby. On Valentine’s Day.

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

Days, maybe weeks, before the first

whole night together,

I ventured down Second Avenue

to buy a new pillowcase for the optional

third pillow, your pillow.

In the past, there had been

a maroon pillowcase

and a navy blue pillowcase

and a bottle-green pillowcase.

One refused to accept bribes;

one pretended to drink holy water;

one took a full-time job crying.

According to the packaging,

your pillowcase is oyster, obliterates

the selfishness of regret,

and looks like a fresh sheet of paper

against your brown skin,

your brown skin that seems

so crucial and complementary

against my white skin

in the warm, reflective dark.

Now that my body feels like a pulpit,

and I am my body's messenger,

I will keep this life.

Jerry Williams teaches creative writing at Marymount Manhattan College. In 2003, Carnegie Mellon University Press published his collection of poems, Casino of the Sun, and a new collection, Admission. His poetry and nonfiction have appeared in American Poetry Review, Tin House, Pleiades, and many other journals. He lives in New York City.

Praise for It's Not You, It's Me


“A fine new anthology…featuring terrific poets…Williams is as good a prose writer as he is a poet. Get hold of this guy’s stuff and read it.” -- Entertainment Weekly

“Jerry Williams, has had some experience with romantic disappointment, as he details in his slightly painful introduction…This collection is split into three sections — ‘One Foot Out the Door,’ ‘In the Middle of the Storm’ and ‘The Aftermath’ — and it gathers many of the poems that have helped Williams (a poet himself, with two books to his name) through his rooms of anguish over the years. Happily, they’re pretty great.” – PaperCuts

“In It's Not You, It's Me: The Poetry of Breakup today's big contemporary poets make breaking up and even divorce sound painfully beautiful. You'll want to read with a box of tissues, a pint of chocolate ice cream and sappy love songs playing in the background.” – Lemondrop

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME Poetry Anthology Reviewed in Entertainment Weekly

Just as National Poetry Month wraps ups this week, Entertainment Weekly pays tribute to It's Not You, It's Me: "Jerry Williams is the editor of a fine new anthology, It’s Not You, It’s Me: The Poetry of Break-Up. It’s a collection featuring terrific poets such as Mark Halliday, Tony Hoagland, and Ai (a fine poet who died just last month). It’s Not You, It’s Me is divided into three themed sections “One Foot Out The Door,” “In The Middle Of The Storm,” and “The Aftermath.” This may be an anthology for anyone who’s been broken-hearted, but it’s not an anthology for anyone who’s faint-hearted: Treacly, romantic, winsome little poems are entirely absent Williams’ from conception of the messiness of breaking up with someone.

In his superb introduction, Williams says bluntly, “I have endured four major break-ups in my life. Each one nearly killed me.” You think he’s kidding… and then he goes on to describe each one. Williams is as good a prose writer as he is a poet. Get hold of this guy’s stuff and read it."

It's Break-Up Night for the Poets of IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME on February 25 at KGB Bar in NYC

Join Jerry Williams and a stellar cast of heartbroken poets for evening of poetry at KGB Bar in Manhattan, Thursday, February 25, at 7pm.

It's Not You, It's Me editor Jerry Williams will be joined by Peter Covino, Martha Rhodes, and Linda Gregg for poetry readings, storytelling, and non-stop entertainment!

Jerry Williams teaches creative writing at Marymount Manhattan College, and has two collections of poetry Casino of the Sun (2003, Carnegie Mellon University Press) and Admission (2010, Carnegie Mellon University Press). His poetry and nonfiction have appeared in American Poetry Review, Tin House, Pleiades among others. He currently lives in New York City.

Linda Gregg is the author of seven poetry collections: Too Bright to See; Alma; The Sacraments of Desire; Chosen by the Lion; Things and Flesh; In the Middle Distance; and All of it Singing: New and Collected Poems. In 2006 she received the PEN/Voelcker Award in Poetry for her career achievement. She live in New York City.

Peter Covino is an Assistant Professor of English and Creative Writing at the University of Rhode Island. Winner of the 2007 PEN America/Osterweil Award for Emerging Poets, he is the author of Cut Off the Ears of Winter as well as the chapbook Straight Boyfriend. Recent poems have appeared in The Paris Review, Colorado Review, Gulf Coast, and others. He is the founding editor of Barrow Street.

Martha Rhodes is the author of three collections of poetry: At the Gate, Perfect Disappearance, and Mother Quiet. She teaches at Sarah Lawrence College, and in the M.F.A. program at Warren Wilson College. She is also the founding editor and director of Four Way Books.

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME Book Launch Covered in The Huffington Post

Alex Palmer of The Huffington Post reports on the Anti-Valentine's Day Party/Book Launch for It's Not You, It's Me last night in Brooklyn: "A bad breakup can do a lot for one's creativity. On Thursday, Jonathan Ames emceed an Anti-Valentine's Day evening of stories, poetry and music celebrating heartbreak and the joy of emotional pain.

Ames opened the show, which took place at the powerHouse Arena in Brooklyn, with a rollicking story about his own pre-pubescent heartbreak. The author of eight books and creator of HBO's Bored to Death incorporated a male corset, an elevated testicle and tree-humping into the tale of his love and loss of a middle school girlfriend. "She had everything you look for in a girl--blonde, dismissive, arrogant," said Ames.

Following his story, Ames introduced Jerry Williams, poet and editor of the collection It's Not You, It's Me: The Poetry of Breakup, which was the focus of the evening. Williams read selections of his own work from the book, which also includes contributors such as Kim Addonizio, Denis Johnson and Mark Strand. After reading a pair of raw poems, Williams joked, "I've gotta find something funny here."

He did hit a few funny notes in relating a story about he and Ames taking a road trip across the southwest years ago (the two have been friends for 20 years), as Williams was working up the courage to break up with the girl he had been seeing at the time. Following the pattern of most of the stories that evening, the tale ended in humiliation as the poet somehow ended up with a case of diaper rash and had to call his soon-to-be-ex for pharmacological tips.

"Most great art comes from pain because it's boring, for the most part, to write about a great experience," Ames said over email prior to the event. "Also, people need to read about pain. They don't want to be alone with it. They don't mind being alone with pleasure, but they need to know from fiction, poetry, film, music, what-have-you, that they're not alone with being in pain, lessens it somehow.

Poet Donna Masini demonstrated this point as she took the microphone after Williams. "I want everybody who has ever written a poem, story, letter or piece in a journal about a breakup to raise their hand," she asked to a full show of hands. "Okay, the playing field is leveled," she said, commenting on the Coliseum-like layout of the powerHouse's event space. Masini read a selection of descriptive poems, incorporating images of a rabbit being swallowed by a snake and the desire for both the "juice and the flesh" of a grapefruit.

Following the readings, Ames entertained the audience as the final act--the band Lunker, fronted by Williams--got set up. He made some discursive (and mildly intoxicated) closing comments that were both hilarious and introspective. A line of Masini's poetry got him thinking about how ephemeral relationships are, especially in New York.

"Love and relationships have changed so much--my parents have been together nearly 60 years, but that's so different from my experience," said Ames. "You have these brief but incredible loves."

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME: A Collection of Break-Up Poetry Celebrated at Anti-Valentine's Day Party Tonight

A new poetry anthology, It's Not You, It's Me, edited by Jerry Williams, will be celebrated tonight at a very special Anti-Valentine's Day Party at powerhouse arena in Brooklyn. This collection covers it all: breaking up, cheating, loneliness, all things heart-wrenching. In a heartbreaking introduction, Williams chronicles his own failed relationships and explains how he gathered up the particular poems used in this book. It's Not You, It's Me features such top-shelf contributors as National Book Award finalist Kim Addonizio, bestselling author Denis Johnson, former poet laureate Mark Strand, Edward Hirsch, Maxine Kumin, and David Lehman.

Tonight's event, hosted by Jonathan Ames, is a round-robin reading of humorous, wise, bitter, and uplifting breakup-inspired poetry from this new anthology. On hand will be editor Jerry Williams, Bob Hicok, Donna Masini, and Mark Halliday to read and discuss their love lives and their work. See you there!

The Poets of IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME Read and Sign Books on February 11 in New York

Join author Jerry Williams and host Jonathan Ames to celebrate the launch of It's Not You, It's Me: The Poetry of Breakup on Thursday, February 11, 7pm, at the powerhouse Arena in Brooklyn.

Jonathan Ames emcees a round-robin reading of humorous, wise, bitter, and uplifting breakup-inspired poetry from this new anthology. Editor Jerry Williams and several contributing poets will be on hand to read and discuss their love lives and their work at this very special Anti-Valentine's Party!

Therapeutic and transformative, edgy yet sincere, enlightening, wide-ranging, female and male, gay and straight, innocent and guilty, It's Not You, It's Me: The Poetry of Breakup incorporates work from an abundance of perspectives in order to explore the exquisite pain of heartbreak. Such top-shelf contributors as National Book Award finalist Kim Addonizio, bestselling author Denis Johnson, former poet laureate Mark Strand, Edward Hirsch, Maxine Kumin, David Lehman, and many others proudly offer up their wisdom on the various pains (and humors) of heartbreak. In this stunning collection, readers will not find false hope, but the real hope of genuine sympathy in love, hate, fury, and recuperation.